The family pressures are outstanding
Every African child has received the infamous “marry within our culture” talk, some parents may not have been pushy about it, but they still made you aware of their “wishes”. Its not that they don’t like people of other cultures they just feel that this person will not follow customs and traditions they raised their child with. They feel as though our African values will be lost in generations to come. When an African child notifies their parents that that their love is not what they had hoped…well we’ve all experienced this:
Most African parents want their girls in their matrimonial home by the age of 28 and bouncing baby boys and girls to hold by age 30. The men have it easy with most parents wanting them to be settled by the age of 30, once the big 3-0 has passed the family descends upon the poor guy lol.
Now it is said that we as Africans should marry within our culture in order to have a strong family bond you know Liberians with Liberians, Nigerians with Nigerians and so on. Sometimes it goes as far as same tribe with same tribe in order to gain your families approval for marriage. Well everyone doesn’t agree with that idea, especially those of us raised in an African home in the USA and abroad. I totally believe you can marry outside of the culture in my eyes just as long as the person is open minded and willing to accept what makes you diverse.
Now many girls feel African men are great providers and will make sure you always have what you want while Americans are seen as the “cheap/stingy” guys. Americans are also seen as free spirited and liberal minded while African men are seen as controlling and closed minded.Don’t get mad at me I’m just the messenger. So the question lies with all of these stereotypes and embedded thoughts of these different groups of people what will you do? Will people be drinking palm wine on your head and have thousands of dollars sprayed on you or have a traditional engagement party?
Here are some tips on African men to help you with the big question “marry African or nah?”
1) Hennessy, dark liquor, Stout, or Heineken or other heavy beers are the drink of choice. First thing you must bring your man after a heavy plate of food at a party…yeah boo just skip over the ciroc and budweiser.
2) Get in the KITCHEN! : You must cook at least a few times a week to please an African man, sorry no burgers and french fries or takeout every night. African men are spoiled by their mother’s cooking and most even though they wont admit it expect it from their wife.
3) Half meat and fish and Half rice: Have you ever met an African man that doesn’t like meat or fish?…I know me NEITHER. When you cook, you must add chicken, goat, turkey, or fish in a man’s food, if not it’s not a complete meal…don’t forget the rice either. I’m serious Give him a plate of rice without meat or fish and see the look he will give you. Keep his gut full!
4) Alpha male: African men want to show how they are a man, they could show it through their fortunes, how they treats you, or by their religious and mental level. In order to stroke his ego you will have to stand down sometimes, listen to him and be submissive. African men are normally from two parent homes and are taught to be the head of the household. This may not hold true in other cultures. The need to take care of certain obligations for a woman comes naturally for them. In some other cultures independent women are praised and women are praised for taking care of themselves financially.
5) Not into romance, but will put that work in!. I don’t know what it’s like in the open public between you and your African man but I can almost guarantee it’s great behind closed doors, when you guys are… You know what. cough. They may not be the most romantic men (ie buying flowers, writing poems, rose pedals surrounding the house), but they will express the love in the bedroom. Now it is very possible to find sensual men in other cultures, but word around the street is African men seem to have a great knowledge of what makes a girl happy in that department.
Have you like:
So will you be wearing a gele or a veil?